Divorce can be a period of temporary insanity; conflict and anxiety run high. I try to provide a calm presence, clear explanations, and the best advice.

In many divorces, the greatest cause of conflict is anxiety over:

• What mudslinging is the other side going to say about me?
• Are they going to try to extract the last ounce of blood?
• What is my future budget going to be?
• When will I be spending time with the children?

A clear understanding of the divorce process can go far to reduce the anxiety. How you treat each other during the divorce will affect how you interact afterwards. When children are involved, you will have to deal with each other for years.

Part of my role as your attorney is to explain the range of likely outcomes, given your particular situation, on each issue the court must decide. With a good understanding of these factors, you are in the best position to work out how to share the time with the children and how best to separate the finances.

When emotions run high, I act as a buffer to help defuse those passions. My job is to help you focus on the things that matter -- developing the evidence on each issue which the court must decide: dividing assets and debts, alimony, the parenting plan, and child support. Emotional reactions and mudslinging may feel good in the short run, but often sabotage your best interests.

I believe the judges and commissioners appreciate a reasonable advocate. Daily they face people badmouthing each other or trying to turn a child against their parent, usually without objective support. Rather than asking the judge to decide based only on "he said vs. she said," I prefer to support our position with receipts, photos, records, and testimony from neutral professionals.

Finally, in a divorce it is important to disrupt the children's lives as little as possible. It is critical that your children not feel placed in the middle, and not be asked to take sides. Part of our job as attorneys and as parents is to protect the children from the conflict as much as possible and not interfere with the love they have for both parents.

Mediation: Since 1997 I have also worked as a family law mediator. As a mediator I help both sides to a dispute work towards agreement by defusing conflict and exploring common interests. As a mediator I am neutral, so you will both need to have outside attorneys to answer your legal questions and prepare the legal documents which incorporate the agreements you reach in mediation.

You can contact Mark directly at mark@seattledivorceservices.com